Aam Ka Mazaa

M A N G O M A N N E R S
Aam Ka Mazaa

Satish K Sharma


With products like Mango Fruity, Maaza and mango-flavoured ice creams, the taste of mango is available all year round. On the one hand, it has made the maharaja of Indian fruits literally aam (mango, commonplace). But on the other, processed mango products have undermined the delightful act that mango eating should be. While it comes naturally to children and even monkeys, for the greater part of evolved Indians , this delectable activity has been reduced to an inanity. They seem to have forgotten that the mango is nothing if it doesnt bring out the child in us. It is, therefore, worthwhile to recount the basics of the art and etiquette of mango eating. First, a mango should be dealt with bare hands. To use steel in any form knife, fork or spoon upon the mango is not only impolite but also an act of unpardonable violence. As far as mangoes go, any tendency to suppress slurping or similar refined gestures is bad manners. Although the British ladies of the Raj were loathe to savour the fruit other than in the privacy of their bathrooms, mangoes and privacy go ill together. Therefore, always have a group of people partaking the feast. The other side of this is that one should never decline an invitation to mango eating, not even during office hours.
When eating the stuff, any attempt to prevent ones clothes or that of a fellow mango eater from tasting the juice or pulp is a strict no-no . In other words, the ad line Daag achhe hain holds true more for mango eating than any other activity. As for someone who is too squeamish, one can always have a few detergent sachets ready at hand. Talk of moderation and you kill the pure joy of mango eating. So, the connoisseurs prescribe that there should be at least a basketful ready before mango eating takes off and it shouldnt stop until all the fruit has been dealt with. The last of the mango eating rules is rooted in an important canon of mango morality, which says that all mangoes, procured by whatever means, are kosher. Therefore, when someone offers the fruit, it is sacrilegious to ask from where it has been sourced. Unfortunately, this beautiful planet is teeming with rude people. Its they who forced someone to coin this gentle snub: Janaab, aam khaiye. Ped mat giniye (Eat the mango, Sir. Dont count the trees).